The Devil Wears Dickies

This is Bennett. He’s a really nice guy, but he’s also a demon from hell. He’ll regularly do 80 mile days in around five hours. I like to call him Big Ring Bennett, because he’s never shifted out of his largest chainring in the 1000-odd miles we’ve done so far; he just stands up and stomps. He’s riding a Pinarello with Campy components, but he’s used to winning alleycats on a fix in SF.

This is what I see for hours on days I want to go fast.

If you want to go fast, get behind him and try to hold on. I’ve tried to get in front of him and pull to make it fair in terms of drafting, but he just jumps back out in front. “I like to be able to see the road,” he’ll say.

Oh yeah, and he smokes us all in sneakers. 

-I90 all the way, baby
-flat flat flat, smooth smooth smooth
-since we’re heading southwest, alot less headwind
-I got stopped by 2/undercover 5-0 + 1/marked car in Hondo, Texas. Apparently they were following me for about a mile around 7am this morning and watched/observed me BLOW 4 consecutive redlights in town. When the first car tried to pull me over, I wouldn’t acknowledge cuz I never saw a car with lights or decals, and kept going. By the time he hit the lights/siren, his partner had pulled up on the other side if me in an unmarked truck. They both hit the sirens and by the time I pulled over into a parking lot, there was a 3rd patrol car (this one actually looked like a cop car, haha). So the 1st guy gets out of his Chevy Lumina, and I thought that I was in an episode of Walker, Texas Ranger… black tight Levis, black cowboy hat, sheriff star badge, denim shirt, but he was like a fatter, balder Chuck Norris. He says “boy! What gives you the right to blow every single redlight in my town???”. I answered “sir, I didn’t see any redlights, it is too early, too dark, and I am too sleepy to notice anything!”. They looked at each other like I was a weirdo & alien. They took my ID, went back to the car & ran it, then came back with a lecture & warning. “these people/drivers around here aren’t expecting to see the likes of you on a bike, especially in the dark, on an interstate, do yourself a favor and either yield to the traffic laws like any other vehicle, or find another route to get to California, we don’t want to see that kind of recklessness around Hondo.” I stood there with puppydog eyes & remorse, awaiting my fate. “have a safe and lawful trip, and by the way we clocked you doing 30 through 4 consecutive intersections and noticed that you made absolutely NO attempt to stop let alone slow down, next time, don’t do that.”
-and with that, the 3/confused officers let me go
-I think that I ran another redlight about a mile later while leaving Hondo
-good day! Finished the 85mile ride in less than 4hrs, avg mph was around 22-25
-only 2/stops necessary = 1 for Monster, Marlboro, banana, bathroom, the other was to say hi to Texas cops!
-we actually arrived early enough to make breakfast at Holiday Inn! I had: 3/raisin bagels, 3/cinnamon rolls, 3/waffles, 3/bananas, 3/cigarettes… dunno why I chose 3, must’ve been a tribute to the 3/cops in Hondo?”

Benitosan:Sorry to let everyone down guys,
but I believe that I am quitting this tour
very soon, I ABSOLUTELY abhor the South and
I’d rather quit the tour having finished 1st almost
every single day of the tour, then ride another day in this SHIThole.

The South is a big fucking diaper & I feel sorry fir anyone that had to live here,
I will never ever come back here again, the weather, the mentality, the standard of living,
it’s NO wonder people transplant themselves to the Bay Area… this place is DEPRESSING beyond

HOLY SHIT!!!

I can’t give up now, or else I’ll never be able to show my Arrospoks in SF!!!
Thanks for the kind words, affirmations, and support… obviously, had a really REALLY BAD time in the South, still in Mississippi, in a town called Batesville right now… Had a good, easy 60mile ride today… checking into the hotel right now, drinking a Coors Light tallcan @ 1045am… gonna do some laundry, nap, eat some eggs & toast, then relax & regroup my mind for the next leg of the tour… coming up: Arkansas & Oklahoma, I have faith that Little Rock & Oklahoma City will treat me right… need to find a bike shop & get my bike tuned up… need to find a Target or Goodwill & buy some new/used NOT damp/dirty/sticky clothing… I WILL devote torY to getting my mind & body back on track!!! Thanks for all of the encouragement, I am relying on my friends on this forum to get me through the TOUGH times, UGLY weather, UNVOMFORTABLE conditions, and PAINFUL miles of this tour… I WILL look forward to reading MORE support from you guys!!! I need it!!! It’s been almost 3weeks now & nearing 1500miles, I am tired, homesick, and frustrated, but I WILL keep going if only to make my friends back home proud of me, THANKS AGAIN… Will check back later for those important words of advice & influence!!!

ps. I STILL hate/can’t wait to get out of the South, if I NEVER see another Confederate flag, mullet, pickup truck, or armadillo & mosquito, I will be a happy man! Bring on the desert, the dry heat may actually be nice! :thumbup:

-Bennett

Benitosan:Sorry to let everyone down guys,
but I believe that I am quitting this tour
very soon, I ABSOLUTELY abhor the South and
I’d rather quit the tour having finished 1st almost
every single day of the tour, then ride another day in this SHIThole.

The South is a big fucking diaper & I feel sorry fir anyone that had to live here,
I will never ever come back here again, the weather, the mentality, the standard of living,
it’s NO wonder people transplant themselves to the Bay Area… this place is DEPRESSING beyond

Benitosan:Thanks for the words & support all!

For the time being… I’M BACK IN THE GAME

-had a good ride today, and the humidity went down
-still in shithole Mississippi for the time being, but at a A/C hotel at least
-100mile ride to Clarendon, Arkansas tomorrow, ouch!
-mentally recovered today with food, shower, nap, laundry, and shopping therapy
-going to sleep now, proud & appreciative of all the love of SJF… you guys are my family
-the Tour has given me a mock “World Champion Striped” ring to show how I’ve finished almost every stage in first place, I can’t give up the ring right now, it feels so comfortable on my finger!!!

Benitosan:I’m in Little Rock, Arkansas right now, ANOTHER 105mile ride today, whew!

-SO HAPPY to be out of the boonies & in a major city again :clap:
-SO HAPPY to see Starbucks & traffic instead of Walmarts & cows :tongue:
-still feeling strong, still wearing the ring, though my ass is still all blown up
-they treated us to Benihana’s for dinner, that’s not real Japanese food, but I’ll take it :thumbup:
-went to a bikeshop in downtown Little Rock, some employee was trying to educate ME about “fixies” haha :confused:
-the route was HELLA confusing & long today, sorry if I misdialed a few of you, using an iPhone while riding down an Interstate no-handed while reading a map, eating a Clifbar, and drinking Monster Lo-carb just ain’t that easy!
-I love you and miss you all!!! Just about at the 1/2way point of the tour… next comes Oklahoma, then 2 STRAIGHT WEEKS through ginormous Texas, then 2grueling weeks crossing the Mojave desert thru New Mexico, Arizona, and Southern California… I just may finish this damn thing… Survived the humidity, Mosquitos, and depression of the South, now I’m heading West!!! See you in LA, somebody bring me some TCC!!! :hungry:

sorry, not the kind to take pictures, i believe that there are a few flickr groups from my team: dinosaur1 and sodanpop.

here’s a few from me:

me & my roommate Dade, he is the owner of Dodici rims & frames, he comes from Milan, Italy

me & Chris from NY, he is a messenger, he has won Monster Track, we just raced to Atlanta, where it dumped SO MUCH rain on us in the last 5miles to the hotel, we stayed across the street from the Atlanta olympic center built in 1996 aka Campy Atlanta rims

camping in South Carolina, ticks & mosquitos & spiders everywhere, no bathroom, pooped in the woods, lots of fireflies at night, as well as snakes, yikes! check how i brought the City to the Countryside, hung my sneakers on the pole as well as u-locked my bike to the fence, haha!

speaking of bikes, here is the secret weapon… i’ve finished first on most of the rides thus far, everyone complains that all they see is my ponytail & hipbag and all that they hear is the sound of my carbon wheels & big ring, they are also PISSED that i smoke and drink so much beer, haha, after all, i’m repping SJF!

-Bennett

Bennett & Superfish

benitosan:Clocked in 90miles today en route to Raleigh, North Carolina… HORRIBLE routing by the management team, they lead us on a crazy, alleycat-style route while all we wanted to do was to get to our destination hotel & out of the heat. BAD day, I feel like shit right now, and there are still slot of other riders out there lost, hungry, and most importantly, hot & tired. I will definitely be yelling at whoever routed us today into the middle of nowhere, I only got lucky to find the end cuz I treat every stage like an alleycat/treasure hunt & I know how to navigate & I luckily have an iPhone… without one, people are going to be vulnerable & frustrated. DISAPPOINTED at our staff today. To top it all off, I am getting saddlesore, OH JOY

benitosan:ANneight: Crystal & Allison are doing fab! Allison’s a little sick right now due to our hectic schedule. We wake up at 5am, ride at 6am, and get to bed around 11pm, so people are getting tired. I keep recommending RedBull ps Crystal has the SEXIEST bike on the tour = LOOK 585 with Campy11 carbon gruppo & Ultra Shamals, SAY WHAT! :heartsabove:

Anyways, to recap today: the most amazing day EVER! We left our ghetto DC hotel at 6am, did an 85mile ride to Bowling Green, Virginia. Good weather, fast pace! Got here in about 5hrs. Today we are at the coolest campsite ever! They have: a swimming pool, hot tub, mini golf, skee ball, basketball, volleyball, horseshoes, tetherball, pingpong, billiards, a playground, ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! :crazy: this place is like an amusement park/resort! It’s just missing a petting zoo & dancefloor. Gonna camp & campfire tonite & bond with the riders… did I mention that there are alot of cute girls on this tour? Haha :devil:

YelliCinelliJohn: I actually think that we may be passing thru Alabama. I know that tomorrow we go to Richmond, VA for another vodka party :peace:

So we’re getting further South & it’s getting hotter & more humid. The bugs are also getting bigger Thus far, this has been the most amazing experience: seeing the country via bicycle, getting supported (and paid!) by really cool/generous people, riding with AMAZING people from all over the USA & world, and of course, drinking! :partytilyoudrop:

More tomorrow…

pps. Didn’t weigh myself, will prolly sweat off 20lbs, as well as work off another 20, I might even rock the superskinny jeans back in SF?

benitosan:Today: easy ride from Bowling Green to Richmond, VA = Marlboro Country!!! :cheer: it’s really starting to warm up now & the humidity, Mosquitos, Ticks, Chiggers (WTF?) are making things uncomfortable. Anyways, the ride was easy, only 40miles/2hrs… Another stay at the Holiday Inn, and another party with food/vodka at some swank restaurant/bar on a lake, felt like a country-club too as everyone was wearing topsiders, khakis, and polos (but not the Dolores Park version, the real kind, hehe).

AND NOW, the real work & pain start… We have 4 consecutive 80mile days before we get to HOTlanta, Georgia on the 8th of July. Weather is forecast to be hotter & more humid! I really don’t know how people live in these conditions. I really miss the Bay Area weather anyways, we are definitely being taken care of by the 42below company, our responsibilty is just to ride, drink, eat, and be seen at parties… TOUGH summer job, I know! :tooth:

I’ll let y’all know how life in the Dirty South treats us, maybe I’ll even come back with a drawal or Wranglers!

benitosan:rode 85miles to South Hill, Virginia today. It is HOT. Ate Subway again, oh joy the pleasures of eating on the road in the middle of nowhere! (just had to sidestep a CrackerBarrel to get there… NOT ready to pull that trigger… YET?). Kinda uneventful today, just blasting down lonely highways looking at grassland & barns, but at least the miles go by really quickly when you’re not twisting around inside the big city. Anyways, now it’s time for beer, more food, a nap, and SWIMMING HOLE TIME! Talk later…

benitosan:Day 1 ride: pretty hard!

Had to wake up at 3am! to be at Colombus Circle for promo & CBS early show (anyone see us?) finally got to ride today, did around 75miles from NYC to Sommerset/NJ? hot, humid & our route felt alot like an alleycat (too many twists & turns). I know it’s not a race but I joined the breakaway group of 2other riders cuz we were thinking it’d take all day to get 42people to finish 75miles together. tough ride for the 3 of us, but we finished first & got to soak in hottubs & swimming pools while others rolled in. doing a beer/food run now, update later…

benitosan:Rode New Jersey to Philadelphia today, nice ride, weather was decent yet humid… tomorrow’s a real test: Philly to Baltimore = 100miles… at least we get to sleep in a hotel that has a hot-tub! tonight we have another 42below vodka party to attend… I’ll stick to drinking beer, thanks, not a vodka fan :angry:

benitosan:So, part of our obligations to this tour is to not only ride the USA, but apparently get drunk courtesy of Bacardi/42below Co. at every major town along the route. Thanks this far for letting me ride NY and Philly, I’ll try to forget about Jersey, that place is a pit! Next up: a 106 mile ride to Baltimore followed by an easy ride to DC… both rewarded with hotel stays… yes! :clap: feels like the rockstar life, except the lack of cocaine & groupies, oh well maybe I’ll get some in Texas? :boogie: btw, Katio did great today, rode faster & stronger than alot of the boys… impressive! :thumbup:

benitosan:today: rode 105miles from Philly to Baltimore.

it was long.
rolling hills.
10 hours.

now I’m gonna eat Pho & drink beer. tired.
oh yeah, we had another party at some Bro Bar.
the girls here in B’more look kinds trashy, cool! :thumbup:

tomorrow is DC! and another party! 38-mile ride, easy! :peace:

benitosan:Today was a recovery day = we rode 40miles from Baltimore to DC via some sketch roads. Normally I’d never ride anything similar to the El Camino to get anywhere via bicycle, but that’s how they routed us to DC. They’re putting us up at some janky HoJo in the NW odlf DC, but I’m not complainig about having a bed, a shower, and A/C. Went downtown to Colombia Heights for yet another 42below party. Thistime they fed us some much needed good food = scampi, pasta, salad, sweet potato fries! Tomorrow is our 1st day of camping on this trip. We are riding 83miles from DC to Bowling Green then camping, should be fun for the unlucky young girl who gets to sleep next to the Bearpedosan, but at least no one here knows about my rep (yet, haha). Katie is doing fabulous, she’s finished every ride super-strong & with a big smile on her face! I’m feeling pretty strong too, but I’m dreading the impending heat, humidity, bugs, and brahs in the South. Oh well, at least I hear that the cigarettes, liquor, and steaks are cheap down there!

This ride is going to be filmed and put together for the Bicycle Film Festival. Who is going to hate who? Fall in love? Be Jealous? Who is going to…well you know the rest. All I know is, Bennett is coming back with that movie star glam for sure. Check back for updates as they progress through their epic journey.
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Northern Route

Southern Route

Pics: Johnny Hsu:Superfish